Are you ready for some football? How about some French?
We don’t want to count our chickens before they’ve crossed the road, or mix any metaphor before its time. But when you think of the Steelers opener, don’t you get a sense of deja vu? We learned this phrase from a French speaking friend who is otherwise not the slightest bit suspicious. Also, it’s the title of a pretty good CSN&Y album from way back in the 70’s. Pretty good in the sense that if you got it for your girlfriend, she’d think you were a lot more sensitive and caring that you really were because of songs like “Our House”.
Anyway, we’re only getting the deja vu thing because the Browns have decided to start a rookie at quarterback, recent Notre Dame signal caller Deshone Kizer. To those of you who remember the name Brady Quinn, the answer is yes, you’ve seen this movie before in Cleveland where, in 2007 that Notre Dame quarterback and first round draft pick was signed to a $30 million rookie contract and is now a confused wreck of a man, searching for meaning in a life scarred by the horror of having once been a Browns QB. Of course, the thirty mil is quite a comfort, even if only $7.75M was guaranteed. We don’t know the terms of Kizer’s contract but we have to hope it will be enough to cheer him up once Cam Heyward, James Harrison and Ryan Shazier have officially welcomed him to the AFC North division of the NFL. Remember those pictures of hunters clubbing baby harp seals? Might get some deja vu there too.
Meanwhile, as long as we’re in a Q&A mood, what about some questions from that portion of the Idler readership with sufficient energy to formulate their answers in the form of a question. You know, like on Jeopardy. Here we go:
Dear Idler: I seen where you said Danny’s on 88 and Vi’s had the best hoagies. Why don’t yinz cross the river some time, sport? The Triangle’s got the best hoagies in the valley and they’ve been at it a long time too. – Dissed in Swissvale
Avast ye, matey, we happen to be big Triangle fans, having consumed more than our share of battleships and destroyers. A little context here – we got caught up in reminiscing about Vi’s and didn’t mean to leave anyone out. You can feed the whole family with one of those super destroyers and get a brewski in the bargain.The whole fleet’s welcome to dock at the Idler’s.
Yo, Idler: The wife has gotten into the habit of leaving me with the kids on Sundays during game time with some flimsy excuse like “shopping for food” or “working overtime.” Don’t get me wrong, I love the little scamps, but they have a way of interrupting the “flow of the game” if you get my drift. – Besieged in Braddock
Sounds like those younguns are at that difficult age where they’re too old for napping but not old enough to be tranquilized by electronics. You could interest them in games like “Who wants to get Daddy a beer?” – in bygone days a fave at the Idler household. Pretzel relays could follow, but the whole deal will probably get old by halftime. “Catching popcorn in your mouth” can be a winner, especially if you can get the dog involved. There’s usually some pretty significant cleanup, though. Does the better half’s job by any chance include child care benefits? Ooh that’s right, the Democrats are out.
Dear Mr. Verbo, if that’s your real name. We’ve had it with your sly political potshots and barely concealed bias toward important public figures you don’t happen to “approve” of. You’ll get your comeuppance in 2021, buster, the first day President Kid Rock takes office. You’ve been warned. – Livid in Lincoln Place.
Whoa, take it easy there, partisan political person. We are by no means anti-Rock. The last thing we want is to find ourselves between Kid Rock and a hard place. If the recent election has taught us anything it is that no one can any longer be called a “crackpot” candidate. Except Lyndon LaRouche. Pretty sure he’s still a crackpot.
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