And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout, But there is no joy in Mudville—mighty Casey has struck out – Ernest L. Thayer, Casey at the Bat

It’s hard to watch TV after a Steeler loss. Especially in the playoffs. You saw the tragedy live and you already know how it ends. Doesn’t it seem masochistic to tune into Sports Center the next day? You have the whole grisly mess reenacted in color with snide remarks by a couple of washed-up jocks who can barely communicate beyond barks and grunts.

You feel like you want to act out in some way, if only to relieve the tension, but what’s the use? You already fastballed the terrible towel into the laundry room, and if the coffee table takes one more shot, it’s firewood.


But there we were watching the tube the other day, only to see a pretty big crowd of people out in the street crying and wailing. They looked so alternately enraged and forlorn that we couldn’t help but sympathize. Here were fans so distressed by what they saw that they were taking it to the streets!

You know, there were more than a few shaky calls in that game. It’s about time somebody got up the gumption to demonstrate about it. We’re not sure if we personally would be inspired to actually, you know, march around or anything, but that roughing call on Shazier alone is enough to, wait, hold on a minute. Look at that, they’re almost all women.

Well, those are some real fans there, and they’re not happy. Not a huge surprise, though. We’ve found that women tend to hold a grudge longer than men. Decades longer in our experience, but you don’t often see them making a public scene like that. We’re all a little steamed, but holding a parade about it, well, that’s unusual. Funny, though, there aren’t many game jerseys. Those hats must be some of that pink stuff they wear in October.

Now Mrs. Idler is trying to tell us the demonstrators aren’t demonstrating about the game; they’re demonstrating about the presidential inauguration. Yeah, right. So there’s an election on November 8th, they announce the winner on November 9th, and in the last week in January they’re having a riot? We thought everyone knew that when a president was elected, they swear him in a couple months later. Even we knew that and we did not major in Poli. Sci.

Yeah, sorry, Honey, but we don’t think we’re buying it. That election was right in the middle of a four game losing streak when we came off a bye week only to hand one to Baltimore. If there was going to be a demonstration, it would have been then.

Plus, look at the ones dressed in black who were breaking windows and setting fire to stuff. Definitely Raiders fans. They just found out the team was moving to Vegas. The ones who are weeping or whimpering softly to themselves? Totally Browns fans. The ones who have a dazed and confused look on their faces are the Ravens fans who just found out their team used to be the Browns.

We’re thinking the ones who look all indignant are probably Dolphins fans who are frosted because they think they might have won if the weather was as balmy then as it’s been lately. The drunks? Jets and Bills fans. You can’t survive successive Rex Ryan administrations without turning to self-medication. And the cameramen were obviously on Bill Belichick’s payroll, probably on their way to Atlanta to, uh, “observe” the Falcons’ practice facility. Maybe pull a couple fire alarms.

We hope you disappointed fans, especially the ladies, have gotten it out of your system. There are simply times in life when a creep like Belichick will come out on top, and there’s nothing you can do about it except go home and quietly plot your revenge. And there’s no chance we’ll still be crying about it ten weeks from now. We’ve got a Stanley Cup to defend!

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