Now that it’s practically the witching hour, we thought this would be as good a time as any to try and cast a few spells. We didn’t get this idea just from Screamin’ Jay Hawkins either. Did you ever hear the song, “That Old Black Magic”? Recorded by Glenn Miller in July, 1942, it was his last #1 hit before he joined the Army. His plane disappeared over the English Channel on December 15, 1944. The lyricist for the song was Johnny Mercer, whose grave figures prominently in the motion picture, “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil”, which also includes a few magic spells. See the pattern here?
Then there’s the song, “Witchcraft.” It was first recorded in 1957 by Frank Sinatra, but was covered by Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughn and Elvis Presley. What do all these artists have in common? They’re all dead.
Then there’s the song, “Rhiannon”, which seems to be about a Welsh witch, if we’re getting the lyrics right. If you’ve ever seen anything written in Welsh, you’d think she’d spend her whole time conjuring up vowels. (Note to self: Check and see if Vanna White is of Welsh extraction). Anyway, it was first performed by Fleetwood Mac, the same band that did the first recording of “Black Magic Woman,” later made more popular by Santana. Also, Wales is located in the same isles as Scotland, namely the British ones, and that’s where “MacBeth”, the granddaddy, or grandmama of all the witch stories is set. It’s also where we learn that magic spells, incantations and such are supposed to rhyme.
Check this out:
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Pretty spooky, huh? Or how about:
By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes
Is that ominous, or what? Old Bill Shakespeare had a way with words, right? Well we’re no Shakespeare, but that doesn’t mean we can’t cast some spells of our own. It’s too late for the Patriots game, but we could try out this one for our division opponent:
Cheese of burger, half of hoagie,
Foam of beer and butt of stogie,
When Joe Flacco’s back to pass,
Make him fall right on the grass
Mind you, these are only rough drafts; we can goose them up some before the big night. With the Pens hitting the ice in earnest, it couldn’t hurt to help them along with an appropriate incantation.
IC Light and Old Milwaukee,
Lace of skate and puck of hockey,
Sidney Crosby, Eric Fehr,
That cup ain’t goin’ anywhere
The way the Cubs smacked us around this season, we really owe them one, especially now that it seems their “goat” curse might be wearing off. Maybe this will help put those creeps back in the dumper where they belong:
Tobacco juice and rosin bags,
One of our old pennant flags,
A weenie green and Willie’s chicken
Let it bubble, boil and thicken,
Let it crush and then puree,
Finally, if the old black magic is working at all, we might as well direct some at the curse we’ve endured this whole election year:
Hair of Trump and Bubba’s females,
Kaine and Pence and Hillary’s emails,
November 8th, without delay
Make them all just go away
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